Trivia
What am I?
by Jef, a typical Filipino-American teen-ager
During the gen-X time
there is one thing you can find
precious to all teen-agers,
oldsters, mobsters, and youngsters.
It can be alive, it can be dead,
It can reflect the thoughts in your head,
If you talk to it, it may answer you back,
But don't drop it, it may crack.
It buzzes like a bumble bee
But still you don't know what it may be
The more it talks, the more it eats,
The more I talk, the sooner it sleeps.
While it sleeps, it can also eat
Has a friendly face but no teeth
Loves to be touched and handled with care,
Drop to the ground, don't you dare.
A great companion, a wonderful friend
The best gizmo one could ever invent.
Lage or small, fat or thin,
Red or blue, silver or green.
Made in Korea, Japan or China
But never Utah nor Louisiana
A good musician, a versatile singer,
A Star Trek fan may have been its inventor.
To teen-agers, it's a badge of honor
To teachers, it's a little horror
It's time to guess my friend's name
Or else to you it is a shame.
Answer:
Cell Phone
ATATANDANAN MU PA KANITA?
Atatandanan mu pa kanita,
1. Dies mu ing pasahi, libri kandung
2. Deng babayi mu reng magtingga
3. Presu la mu deng ating tatu
4. I Erap at FPJ ken lang showbiz section ning diaryu la mababasa
5. Ing intindi mu king LOL, "Ulol" imbes na "Laughing Out Loud."
6. Arcegas at Escolta ding pipanialwan ning Menila
7. Dies mu balang basung taho
8. At kailangan mung magdalang sariling basu uling ala pang plastic
cups kanita.
9. Choc-nut, bukayu ampong kending Vicks ing asali mu keng singku.
10. Sarsi at ebun ing pagpataba, star margarine at matamis na bao neng abac.
11. Mikikalyu ka uling ing manual typewriter pa ing gagamitan mu para
lisyun mu king escuela
12. Inya usu pa kanita ing carbon paper para kopya ning makinilya mung papil.
13. Mas magaling lang magmakanilia deng mangatua kesa kareng anak
14. Tancho-tique o Superman ing pagayus bwak.
15. Klim ing sasangkapan nang gatas Ima mu para inuman mu bayu ka matudtud.
16. Mekapamalengki na ka keng daralan mung beinti pesus.
17. Anam mung nomiru ing tandanan mu neng tatalepanu ka keng kaluguran mu.
18. Balu mo ngan itsura deng kaluguran mu.
19. Computer cards ing gagawan mung baril-barilan
20. Tia singkuenta sentimus la mu deng songhits
21. Pango ya pa i Vilma
22. I Paeng Yabut mu ing paniwalan mu keng balita
23. Tia singkuenta sentimus mu ing urud
24. Kailian do reng kalbu
25. E usu ing gusut bwak at imalan
26. Makarine lalto halfslip deng babayi, ngeni sarya dong papakit deng
panty da't pusad.
27. Hostess la pa aus kareng club entertainer, ngeni GRO na
28. Escolta ka manyali neng bayu Pasku
29. Asna ka kapayat pa kanita
30. Highway 54 ya pa ing lagyu ning EDSA
31. Malabung ka pa bwak kanita
32. Jingle mu at songhits makakanta na ka, ngeni karaoke pa ing
kailangan
33. Ing dolyar, apat yang pesus
34. I Dolphy matwa ne, angga ngeni mabie ya pa at mika anak
35. King Quiapo kanita, "Praise the Lord" mu pero ngeni pati na "Salaam Alaikum."
36. Deng babayi tatakut la keng "mouse", ngeni tatalnan de pa at apisan.
37. Patye mayli o sasabi kang ikang dili, atin kang dipirensya buntuk, ngeni nung atin kang bluetooth, agyang magmanehu ka malyari kang makisabi keng cell phone.
38. Malambat bayu mo tanggapan deng letratu dareng kamaganak a atyu abroad, ngeni, e-mail attachments mu mapilan mung minutu.
39. Bihira nala deng magaling mag spell lalu na kareng mahilig mag-text.
Nung atatandanan mu pa yan... tsk-tsk, matwa na ka. He-he para maili no
man deng makabusaktung.
How to dodge questions from your parents
by Jef, a typical Filipino-American teen-ager
(As you read, be happy, not grumpy!)
1. Change the topic
2. Let them hear what they want to hear
3. Just say "yes"
4. If they want proof, the teacher has it
5. If you're not sure what will work, mumble
6. When eating and they ask you a question, fill your mouth
7. Pretend not to hear
8. When in doubt, use "huh" as an answer
9. Always answer the questions like you're sure of your answer
10. "Uhm", "er" or "ah" is not a good beginning to an answer;
they'll suspect something
11. Whenever possible, avoid eye to eye contact
12. If you have a younger sister, blame it on her even if she's out of town
Long Words:
ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM (28 letters) may be the best-known long
word. The word means "the belief which opposes removing the tie
between church and state."
PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS (45 letters) a lung
disease caused by breathing in certain particles) is the longest word
in any English-language dictionary. (It is also spelled -koniosis.)
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