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The Coming of the Green Dolphin
By Ulysses U. Navarro, SSP
PERCUSSION AND GLASSES
She was at it again. He always thought that she has always been a nagger since their early life as married couples. Now at their fifth year, not much has changed except for the growing rift between them. A day won’t pass without her throwing insults or complains about almost anything – his pet dog who barked all throughout the night, a busted lamp in the garden, the lawnmower that won’t work, or the dirty socks he threw in the middle of the living room.
“Enough Pamela! Can’t you see that I am tired! The traffic was monstrous and there are lots of pressing problems in the office. Can you not just shut up and give me some peace of mind?” Jay has never been patient with his wife although he loved her very much. He cared for her, and Pamela knew that.
“Fine, I’ll shut up but you have to know that aside from your office, there are also problems here in our house. You can’t go on living like that. This is not just your boarding house. This is our home … and I am your wife. I hope I made my point clear.”
“Pamela, of course I know you are my wife. Just give me more time … and a bit more space.” He sounded a little sweeter this time, so much different from his boiling temper just a while ago.
Jay’s wife stood up and walked down the kitchen where dinner has been set by Aling Pacing, the maid. She thanked the old lady and told her that she can now proceed to her quarters. Aling Pacing politely obliged.
“I have given you so much time and I am willing to give you more. If you want, you may go to Papa’s rest house in Pangasinan. You can take your rest there after you are done with your business project. Papa will be pleased to accommodate you.”
Jay was hit by his wife’s kindness. He looked at her and realized how pretty she looked with her long black hair, well-rounded hips, luscious lips that were always red, and everything that’s nice in a woman. He just could not understand why was he not always kind to her. In fact, twice was he unfaithful to her and he went into dark alleys and slept with other women. But that was his well-kept secret and hoped that the world won’t reveal it to Pamela. He has been sorry for being such an idiot.
They ate supper together, although a feverish air dominated the dining room. One would break the silence occasionally just to ease the discomfort of eating with scripted silence. When Jay was through with his salad, Pamela took a bottle of Clusivol from a nearby cabinet. She gave it to Jay.
“For a little more of your quality time.” She took the pitcher and poured water on his husband’s glass. And when Jay was through with his vitamins, she told him to get some rest. She would do the dish washing with Aling Pacing.
PRELUDE TO AN EVENING
Three weeks after , the office gave Jay a break. His report on a new market scheme that would benefit the products they advertised was well applauded and recommended. After a couple of months of tedious research and analyses, he finally found signs of relief. As part of the incentives, the office offered him a week-long hide-away to El Nido in Palawan but he refused it saying that he preferred his father-in-law’s rest house in San Fabian , Pangasinan.
Upon his arrival, he hugged Pamela and joyfully told her that they could finally have a time just for the two of them. His wife smiled. She was silent and Jay was a bit puzzled.
“We’ll be going to Pangasinan. Don’t you like the idea?” But Pamela just turned her back, shied away as she said these words, “I know you are missing something Jay. Go on your own even just for a while and return to me when you have fulfilled yourself.”
Jay was surprised anew although at the back of his mind, he understood what his wife meant.
As usual, dinner went on as silence hung in the air between them like a dividing, invisible iron curtain. When they were done, Pamela asked Aling Pacing to do the dish washing alone. She went out to the garden to breathe some fresh air. She forgot to give Jay his vitamins so the poor husband, a picture of a perfect frustration and guilt, took the vitamins by himself.
ORCHESTRA IN THE MIND
The city was still under the spell of sedatives when Jay started his journey up north to Pangasinan. The dull-lighted streets were almost empty except for stray cats that vainly sought fortune in an otherwise deserted metropolis. The malignant scent of seductive whores still lingered in the air, though all of them were now nestled in the arms of men who sought comfort in their paid tactics. Dawn was still a few hours away, and in such moments where goblins and ghouls roam freely in the urban skies, Jay made a silent escape from the madness of the city. It was too sickening for him to see the early rays of the sun casting blessed light to a damned land. At least, in this manner, he could make his exit, temporary though, without seeing much of the filth and sores of the glamorous city.
His panther-black Honda Civic trekked along wide avenues and sometimes slid through narrow alleys. The childish pleasure of a joyride tempted him to move on a higher gear but it was clear in his mind that it was just another silly trap. The city teemed with traps in the guise pleasure. Soon, he found himself nearing the toll gate and a little later, moving at 120 kph, he brushed along the North Expressway. So many things lingered in his mind – the simple beauty of San Fabian’s beaches and the melo-dramatic Libra skies, folklore and legends of the ritualistic Pangasinense … but above all this, the sudden reprise to a paradise without “the Eve” by his side. Jay guessed that he wasn’t really ready for this. But he was left with no other choice. Somehow, he would find the reason behind such a crisis in his life. But for now, he wasn’t sure if this was a marital or a personal one. The wooden rosary that hung by the front mirror caught his attention. A short prayer for guidance was all he could think of.
Passing by surreal Tarlac town by about 4 AM, Jay dropped by a coffee shop and ordered a cup of strong black coffee. As he took his sip, he pondered about his life now and the one he used to have. If only he were a good writer, he would have written his autobiography. With those dark secrets and twists and turns in the maze of his life, climbing the bestseller’s list won’t be that difficult. Who knows, Viva films would buy his story and make it into a film with Richard Gomez or Ceasar Montano as the lead. Jay smiled mischievously. “What an imagination!” he thought, as he took another sip. He looked at his watched and checked the time. He calculated how long before he would reach San Fabian. “In a little less than an hour, I’ll be there!” As soon as he finished his coffee and paid his due, he left the place and drove towards MacArthur Highway.
By the time he reached San Fabian, the sun was still asleep. Aside from the engine of his car, only the barking of dogs and the crowing of roosters could be heard. Some early folks were already on the streets. A number carried large baskets on their heads while others carried sacks instead. As he neared his father-in-law’s house, which was just a kilometer away from their rest house along the famed San Fabian beach, Jay’s heart grew uneasy. He was thinking about what will Pamela’ father think about his sudden vacation – minus his wife. Before he could formulate a clear answer, he was already in front of the gate. He blew the horn just once. To his surprise and admiration, it was Pamela’s father who opened the gate for him.
RUSTIC INTERLUDE
“Son, lunch is ready.”
Jay heard the husky voice of his in-law. But unable to clearly regard it as a dream or not, he rolled over his bed and pinched his cheek. “I’m coming, Dad” he answered back.
Now, he remembered. Right after he arrived, the very hospitable old man led him to the guest room and told him to get some rest as he would bring him a cup of coffee. Jay sprawled flat on the cozy bed and sleep immediately took him away. That was a good seven hours of sleep for it was already noontime when he woke up. He looked at the nearby table and smiled – the cup of coffee was indeed there, cold and still.
He took a short shower and after grooming himself, he went to the dining hall. Not much has changed – the lights were still as soft as they can be, the old paintings were still alive and as far as Jay remembered, the furniture was still arranged almost the same as his last visit. The lunch was very Pangasinense: cheesy-smelling bagoong, dinengdeng, smoked bangus and piping hot white rice. A bottle of Fundador added a unique contrast.
“So, are you going to the beach?” asked the old man. His voice sounded weak.
“Yes, Pa. I would like to take a soothing respite. Life down in the city is too demanding. I should have taken Pamela with me but she has lots of responsibilities she could not simply leave behind.”
“Oh, don’t worry. That would just be fine. She called me up yesterday and she promised that she will visit me before the month ends.”
The two continued eating. Jay does not have the appetite but just to please his host, he ate more than he wanted. After all, this doesn’t always happen … and this was his father-in-law!
“Ah, by the way … “ interrupted the old man, “you got the right timing. It’s a great thing that dolphins were reportedly spawning along our beach. It’s wonderful sight. You have to see them. The best time would be late in the afternoon, just before the sun begins to set. You can ask Mang Pilo, our caretaker, to accompany you. He knows where they frequently congregate.”
Jay was delighted. The last time he saw real dolphins was when his friend brought him to Lubang Island somewhere in Mindoro. He could still remember how the sociable dolphins would show off as the ferry traveled towards the island.
“That’s great!” he exclaimed. “In that case, could I proceed to the rest house immediately after lunch?”
“Sure! I already told Mang Pilo to have all things ready for your arrival. I hope you will enjoy your stay.”
After finishing the meal, Jay thanked his father-in-law and, like a little child so eager to fly his first kite in the open field, he ran towards his room and readied his things. In no less than a couple of minutes, Jay was on his way.
ADVENT TIDE
Jay didn’t expect the October breeze to be as cold as this. He had been reclining under a slender coconut tree for less than an hour and yet he already felt like putting his shirt on. Anyway, it was just his first day on vacation– he would get his desired tan later. He thought it strange … sun-tanned when summer has gone far ahead! Playing with such trivial thoughts, Jay closed his eyes and tried imagining the dolphins he was yet to see. Their sleek body cutting through the pristine waters of the sea. It was a scene to behold. He, too, saw himself swimming with the dolphins. He was playing with them, catching their tails or pulling their short snout … and the creatures responded with coziness. Jay was to imagine more when somebody threw sand on his body. He opened his eyes and saw a boy. Jay sat up and the boy ran away until he could never be seen anymore. “Shit! I lost my dream”, he lamented. He tried to capture the dream but, strange enough, the image of the running boy just kept stealing his vision. He should have yelled at the boy or followed him somehow but that was too ephemeral for Jay. Looking at his sanded body, he decided to wash himself in the beach. The surf was not very noisy and Jay was glad because he could enjoy the clear water in his solitude. Fortunately, the water was not as cold as the breeze. He walked farther until the water was waist deep. He could clearly see multi-colored guppies swimming unmindfully near his feet. Unable to resist the temptation, Jay plunged into the water. How delighted was he to feel the water embracing every part of him. He felt the soothing buoyancy of the water pressing against his chest and belly, pushing him upward as if wanting to toss him to the sky. He kept his eyes closed, feeling the aquatic heaven, as he flipped his legs gently, pushing him away from the shore. Soon, his lungs hungered for oxygen so he surfaced and breathed in enough air. It was truly a delightful plunge, thought Jay. It was almost like experiencing a beatific baptism. Jay was just clearing his vision (the saline water was not really a problem) when he seemed to see an unusual sight. He widened his eyes and was surprised to see…
“A dolphin? Oh my God, it’s a green dolphin!”
The creature was moving slowly; very slowly and almost stationary. Triggered by his instinct, Jay breathed in extra air, submerged himself, and swam towards the dolphin. It was so near. He stretched his left arm to grab its tail, when suddenly, it jerked and swam away. Jay followed. And with a very energetic push, he caught the dolphin by its tail. But sooner, even before Jay could feel the ecstatic joy of such a feat, the water around him turned green, then aqua blue, then gray. With the darkening of his surrounding, Jay became afraid so he let go of the enchanted dolphin. But it was too late. The water moved around like a whirlpool and pulled the poor Jay towards the center. In no less time, Jay lost his consciousness.
ENCOUNTERS
When Jay woke up, he found his hands tied upon a marble pillar in a strange shore. He scanned the unfamiliar place: the sea was as green as jade and it was unnaturally calm. The sun was a melancholic golden ring while the stagnant clouds were like flakes of precious pearl pasted against a canvas of azure sky.
Surprisingly, Jay doesn’t feel any pain. Except for some sudden gush of land breeze, Jay felt somewhat comfortable and at the same time amused.
Suddenly, six pretty ladies dressed in floral skirts came. Each one was carrying a picture of Jay which puzzled him enough to ask:
“Where am I and who are you?”
The ladies said nothing but rather went nearer to him and began kissing him all over. He could feel their lips and tongues playing their games on his skin. He resisted by jerking his body and kicking whoever came by his feet. But all seemed futile. Conceding with his helplessness, Jay closed his eyes. “What is happening?” was all he could say. The ladies’ lips were warm and were like hungry leeches mining for some huge, bulging veins that could satisfy their unquenchable thirst. Their lips were like Olympian gymnasts – paragon of grace and strength – oscillating all over him. Jay wanted to cry but his lower appetite seemed pleased by such a fiery imprisonment. He felt one tongue moving from his neck down to his chest and moving lower to his flat belly. Was it hell or heaven? He didn’t care.
Then suddenly, he heard a voice shouting … “Stop!”
He opened his eyes. The six amazons were stupefied with surprise. But Jay was more astonished when he caught a glimpse of the interloper. Why? It was the same little boy who threw sand over him.
“Hey, wait …” Jay yelled. But the boy ran away, and the ladies furiously followed him. They ran and ran until none could be seen anymore. Jay was alone again.
By this time, the sun moved a little farther down west and a crescent silver moon was rising from that same direction. But the clouds seemed to remain unchanged. Later, Jay heard some footsteps coming from behind. They were heavy and draggy. Two big men came with a strip of leather on their hands. One has an extra tool which Jay could not readily identify.
“I am Pain!” introduced the one with the extra tool. His long black hair was bridled beautifully. A black ponytail tied by a knot.
“I am Pleasure!” said the bigger one.
Without freeing another word, the former whipped Jay so hard that he cried in stinging pain. The latter gave him another violent whip which almost burned his soul. The pain was enough to make Jay a mad man, but he bit his lower lip to hold on to sanity. He was lost in agony. His lip was already bleeding but his tormentor would not leave. They were laughing, and insulted Jay with the foulest words he ever heard.
In such a pathetic condition, Jay sought reasons from within. True, his life has been a nasty compoundment between pain and pleasure. “But that’s what life is composed of!” he would reason out. But what actually made him a sad man was the fact that even his pleasures soured into pains. He thought that he doesn’t deserve any of these.
One last strike from Pleasure. He endured it with all the courage he mustered; yet he was convinced that another strike would definitely kill him, or this nightmare, if ever it was such. Jay opened his eyes and tried to steady his blurring vision. He bravely stared at the faces of his tormentors. Seeing their sadistic eyes was pain enough for him, but what else could he do? Nevertheless, Jay sensed some familiarity with those eyes. Somewhere in his memory, those eyes were not of strangers. He knew them. But the terrible physical pain he now felt crippled his retrieval system. He could not identify them.
While his two strange tormentors laughed in victory, somebody teasingly threw sand on them. It was the little boy again. The two looked at him with flaming anger. Only a single thing was in their mind, but before they could execute their crime, a big fish from the nearby shore suddenly appeared and devoured the two. Nothing was left of them.
Then the boy went to Jay and untied his hands. Afterward, he threw fine grains of sands on them.
“It’s you again.” said Jay.
“Yes, Jay, and I hope you still recognize me.”
“What took you so long? Why now when I have already learned to start moving away from you? You left me and now you suddenly returned.”
Jay’s anger was brewing. He knew the boy, though he could not really understand how this was happening. He thought he saw the boy earlier when he was still resting on the shore but he could not recognize him then.
The little boy stared directly at Jay. “You left me, Jay. You abandoned me without words of farewell. You betrayed our bond.”
Jay bowed his head and closed his eyes tightly. The boy’s words were piercing. And Jay knew they demanded an explanation. With the courage of a grown-up man, he began to speak: “I indulged in everything that would destroy the good picture I have of you, and frowned at praises given to your name. Blame me also because I fanned the flame that should have burned the goodness I felt in you. Yes, I purged down the better days I saw with you. I did things that would steal away the respect I nurtured through the years just for you. Yet in the vicious process, I fell into my own weaknesses and cried over my helplessness. In spite of all the efforts, you were still here in me. A sweet thorn in my flesh, you remain unchanged. How long must I still endure? How long before I will be freed from the prison which your memories bring?”
There was silence. And it was painfully piercing. Somewhere beyond the green sea were shrill cries of anguish and lamentations. A choir of sea nymphs seemed to provide the melancholic music.
“I have been struggling with you” responded the boy. “It hasn’t paid off, however. You know what’s hurting me but you kept silent over it. Have you forgotten the years when you didn’t have anything other than me? We played along the shore; we ran in unison, till we dropped down the wet sand. And you always kissed me then as the sun watched us reach our ecstasies. Now, why do you want to abandon me?”
Jay’s hands were cupped over his head. “You do not understand my changing passions. I changed, but you don’t. A wide gap now separates us. You can no longer see the child in me…”
At once, the child interrupted. “You are wrong…”
“Allow me to finish, please.” Jay was a pitiful picture of a crying man as he pleaded to be heard. “You keep on haunting me. Free me. Free me please. The shore we once played on has changed and the city has taught me to play tougher games. You know nothing of these, do you? When I come home tired from my silly job, do you know how to ease my burden? But you haunt me in my dreams, instead. When the whole world seemed against me, where were you to be found? You torture me rather with your selfishness. And when I’m at the point of success, what do you have? You painfully accuse me of being a first class idiot. Now and then, you seem to claim that I have vainly toiled for years. You do not understand. You simply do not understand.”
The little child began to cry little tears. He was trying to hide his sobs. Like a cherubim abandoned by his playmates, he lifted his tiny fists and impeccably rubbed his eyes to brush way the tears. Jay, too, was crying now. He knew how much he has hurt the boy. But he has been equally hurt too. Every word he uttered returned like sharp arrows aimed at him. He felt the pain, the wounds, and the gushing of blood from severed veins. It was purgative but he had to endure. Now more than ever, he felt the bond between him and the boy. The child’s sobs were echoed in harmony with his. And the air that surrounded him subsequently embraced the child, enveloping him with sweet pains and warm desires for a better unity. The spirit danced in orgasmic rhythm. It ricocheted and gyrated in unimagined motions possible only by couples in coitus. Like a soul being consumed by desires … it was maddening.
Jay could resist no longer. He threw himself to the child and kissed him all over, like he never did before. He embraced him with his strong arms and held him tightly till their skins almost blended as one. He wanted to be one with the boy’s heartbeat. He wanted to feel the gushing of the child’s blood as it traveled through his little veins. He wished his breath to be one with the boy. But he did not understand why. He just cried and was consumed by the convulsive libido that roused him.
“I terribly missed you. How can I be happy now … now that I have pained you? Would you forgive me? Would you please return to me?”
The child’s eyes were red and swollen. He was feverishly hot though his soft body shivered. He was conscious of all that was happening. How he felt secure when Jay embraced him. Those protective arms provided him with sufficient love that melted every single synapse of sadness. And Jay’s tears that fell on him were little precious raindrops that his heart had long yearned for.
He stood and Jay waited eagerly for his next move. Their hearts were both thumping hard. The boy gently touched Jay’s face and searched for wounds. He touched them and like a cosmic physician, he healed them right on sight. It was mystical. The child did the same with Jay’s arms and legs … always careful not to inflict any pain. Finally, he searched Jay’s body, like a potter molding a vase into shape. His chest showed signs of hemorrhage, and a couple of his ribs were badly broken. A deep wound was to be found just a few inches below his navel. Jay felt tinges of sharp pains as the child’s fingers worked on his anatomy. The air was balmy and at times the therapeutic scent of herbal tisane filled the air. The motion on his body was once slow, but now it grew in acceleration. The pressure and friction were not just affecting his wounds; they sent waves down to his spine. Without wanting any command, he closed his eyes and lustfully played with the motion and emotion. The pain was transformed into carnal-pleasing convulsions, intensified with every healing. The sensation traveled to Jay’s extremities – his tongue, his finger, his toes. Then in one final stroke, the child’s fingers reached for Jay’s deepest wound. He healed it; Jay reached his summit and could not prevent his warm tears from falling. He bit his lower lips to contain everything and hoped that the sensation won’t leave him. But alas, everything began to wane, and even before he could completely see a clear vision of the boy, everything was gone, all that remained were his tears. They were still warm.
Jay was thankful, though now he grew uncertain about what was to come. In his mind, an epitaph seemed to had just been written.
“Now that you restored me, are you going to leave me? Probably, we could find a way to be united again. We could escape the world and find paradise that fits us. Or I could come with you … to your own world.”
“Speak no more” said the child. “Everything will be fine. Just remember you and I are one. Look at my eyes and you will see yourself staring at your own reflection.”
Puzzled but decisive, Jay moved nearer. He look at the other’s eyes and saw how beautiful they were. A little more focusing and he began to see a vision. It was he, as a little child, playing on the beach. He was very happy, though alone. He ran as fast as he could until he finally dropped on the shore. A flock of seagulls flew over him. The young Jay remained there, as if trying to feel the warmth of the sand of the cool seawater. Jay did see a vivid phenomenon in the child’s eyes.
Suddenly, things began to move in kaleidoscope. The honey-glazed sky in the sand mixed with the silver sand, and the verdant mountains joined the unifying dance. Soon the colors got all mixed up and swirled as one. In a passing moment, it was transformed into a pristine blue ocean. Pacific. Inviting.
Then the child said “Come now, Jay, it is time to go home.”
But to Jay, the hypnotizing voice seemed to come from beyond the horizon right beyond the child’s eyes.
“Yes” responded Jay. “It is time to go home.”
Everything happened in a flash. Jay positioned his loosened hands and dove into the ocean inside the eyes of the child. And in a scene that could only happen in fantasy, Jay shrunk in size as he reached the ocean. Upon touching the waters, the child, too, shrunk in size and plunged into the ocean inside his own eyes. Spontaneously, he was transformed into a sleek green dolphin. He led Jay into the shore.
None uttered even a single word, as if both were satisfied to have each other’s company. The waters around them were like soft satin sheets that gently caressed their bodies. Each wave that brushed over them sent sensations that seem to add vital energies. It was therapeutic. As they glided and skidded and surfaced above, their bare skin shimmered under a bronze sun. There was silence but the whistling wind above invited seagulls and other seabirds to chirp a song or two.
As the shore became nearer, the green dolphin turned around and paused for a while … not long enough to be called a minute. Jay touched his snout and kissed him mightily with all his soul. This time both cried tears. It was time for the dolphin to depart and Jay has to continue his life. Though there was still an abundance of time, the dolphin swam away, never to be seen gain.
HOPE SOMEDAY
It was Jay’s last day in San Fabian. Tomorrow, he would be returning to the city and the following day, he had to report for work. How swiftly was time consumed. A few days ago, he was just unpacking his baggage, yet, this evening he had to pack and be ready for tomorrow’s journey. Jay could not avoid but be sentimental. Will he be now a better husband? Will he be now a better man? Was his fate changed for the better? Honestly, Jay didn’t have an inkling though he hoped that things would be better when he came home.
He walked out of the rest house. He walked down to the beach till he found a cozy shade under a coconut tree. He sat there and watched the puffy cumulus clouds change shapes. The horizon was clear of any vessel. In fact, he could see a number of islets which were invisible in most days. The scenery was postcard-perfect. Tranquil and enchanting.
As he was lulled to sleep, Jay closed his eyes and remembered his unusual experience. Was it just a dream or otherwise? He remembered the green dolphin and the naughty laughter of the ladies. He remembered his tormentors and the pain they gave him. And most of all, he remembered the boy who brought him a painful but welcome enlightening. The green dolphin seemed to come in shape again when Jay felt grains of fine sand thrown on his body. He opened his eyes and smiled for he presumed that he knew who it was. A boy indeed was standing in front of him. But then, it was not “him.”
“Got some problem, boy?” he asked in frustration.
The boy never gave an answer. He just ran away, never to be seen by Jay again. At least for now …
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